Three Witches Magic Shoppe: Chapters 1-5
Three Witches Magic Shoppe
By, Dana Lee
Dedicated to my Best Witches
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One
Suzie Blue Witch had purchased a special sort of spell from Happy Laveau, the Voodoo doll, for Red Witch's birthday. Nobody could guess Red Witch's age, but Suzie Blue and she were the same age. Suzie Blue was Red Witch's mother in a past life. She and the witch doctor, Uncle Phil, had eight children, but Red Witch was Suzie Blue's favorite. The little Purple Witch was younger, but their birthdays were all hexactly a week apart, making Red Witch the oldest. Being all Aries witches they got-on very well and never fought amongst themselves. That is not to say that they got along with everybody else; however, afterall, they were witches. Suzie Blue Witch was, by far, the best witch of the three, very kind and saintly. She was a hexcellent seamstress and photographer. She was also the most mannerly and well travelled of the trio. The Red Witch was somewhere in between. Her mother was a Halloween witch who had gone to The Great Beyond and said that when The Red Witch was good, she was very good, but when she was bad, she was worse. Red Witch was also, by far, the craftiest and witchiest of the three: painting, writing stories, and making dolls, (in no particular order). The Red Witch was a very chaotic sort of witch. Now, that little Purple Witch, she was the worst witch, but The Red Witch loved her all the more for it and wouldn't have her any other way. In defense of Purple Witch, her Moon was in Gemini, so it's not like she could help herself. But, back to Red Witch's birthday spell that Suzie Blue Witch so graciously bestowed upon her. It was a wonderful French Quarter Creole cottage, or at least, nearly everything that The Red Witch needed to make it so. She just needed a month, some wine, lots of varnish, paint, good glue, and some magic to make it The Three Witches Magic Shoppe. It was a lovely shade of lilac and baby blue. The shingles were missing, so those witches had to wait until summer for a new roof, but they had one before their Halloween Gala and so many merry adventures, besides... But, that's what this book is all about...
Two
Yes, the Halloween Gala Grand Opening went off like a bang. All of the neighbors showed-up: Witchy Pie Poo, also known as Mother Rigby, Dainty Bette, Damiana, Posey Parker, Zelda, Thorin, the dwarf, Cherry Pie Clown, Feathertop, the scarecrow, and Vlad, the vampire. There were games, candy, and trick-or-treaters. Suzie Blue was supposed to supply Vlad with a supply of trick-or-treaters, but she is too soft hearted and did not. It might be mentioned that Vlad is a prince and makes all three witches giddy as if they'd eaten too much sugar. So, when Dainty Bette had offered Vlad a cup of cider, he ate her, instead. Then, Bette became a vampire, herself, and would continue to be a bane to the witches for many moons to come. However, the real problems did not begin until Thanksgiving. The witches were very thankful, and once again, invited all of their friends and neighbors to dinner. Feathertop was talking politics, 'witch you should never do at a friendly dinner. Worse, Red Witch had befriended Tom, the turkey, and refused to serve him for dinner, no matter how the little Purple Witch pleaded, saying there were plenty of cakes and magic mushrooms for the guests to eat. Vlad tried to hold-out, but Zelda, in the garden, beneath the moonlight, was just too much of a temptation, and he ate her right up.
Three
Yuletide in The Magic Shoppe was full of cheer. Red Witch made some magic cookies, and Purple Witch ate far too many for one sitting, nestled herself into the cozy little window box, off of the warm breakfast nook, and fell into a magical winter's nap. She was awoken by one of Santa's reindeer, who led her to a magical sleigh, and they sped up and off through the starry night. While hovering high in the sky Purple Witch at last spotted Santa, stuck high atop The Keep. The Keep is an ancient tower where Witchy Poo and Damiana live. It is supposed that Witchy Poo stole the child, Damiana, from her parents, Scully and Mulder, but not true, for she is a very odd one and wandered off with the green witch willingly. Anyways, Santa seemed to be stranded up there and gratefully popped onto the magic sleigh led by the little reindeer. When they at last landed Purple Witch was greeted by two very angry and naked gingerbread. Their house was in shambles and looked as if a cyclone had hit it. "Who is going to pay for this?" The gingerbread lady wanted to know. Beneath the wreckage slept an elf. "Oh! Jangle Jiminy! There you are!" Santa said. "Is he okay?" Purple Witch wondered. "What happened, Santa?" "Oh! I suppose we had too much space cake for flying!" "Well!" Purple Witch was not surprised, but was shocked to find Little Ron huddled beneath a juniper, clutching a little lamb. "Little Ron! What are you doing in my sugar induced dream?" "Purple Witch! It's no dream! I'm saving this little lamb from Caligula!" "Oh! Well then, hop on the magic sleigh, and we will give the both of you a lift back to The Magic Shoppe. You will be safe with us." Well, Purple Witch had a weakness for warlocks, especially Italian ones, like Little Ron. "Is that succubus, The Red Witch, there?" "Why, yes." The Purple Witch had been trying to conjure up a warlock for quite some time. The Red Witch was not fond of The Purple Witch's choices in men. She thought her ex was a baby, and had emptied Isis's litter in his mailbox: special delivery. Little Ron was afraid, but it was cold beneath the juniper, so he bravely climbed on the sleigh with the bleeting lamb, and off they flew, back to The Magic Shoppe.
Four
Warlocks always spell trouble, and Little Ron was no different. First, he got Suzie Blue fired from her job at the paper. She was so hexcited, all she wrote about was Little Ron ManHorn this, and Little Ron, that, so much that even puppies refused to use the paper. Next, he got little Purple Witch's son, Master Thomas, expelled from Magic School. They were like, so sorry, but we cannot be associated with the likes of Little Ron and his dark magic in any way. Finally, Dainty Bette set Red Witch's dolls ablaze. She claimed, Little Ron made her do it. Well, enough was enough, and Blue Witch and Red Witch certainly could not put up with it. Too bad Purple Witch still thought Little Ron was just great. Then, Suzie Blue became sick of him and had to be tended round the clock by a team of doctors: Ron Paul, Plague Doctor, and little Doctor Strange. The witches certainly had to find a cure for Little Ron. The Red Witch and little Purple Witch set off in the snow to find a cure when they had a sledding accident, and Red Witch hurt her head, particularly her ear. Since the doctors were already there, tending to Suzie Blue, Ron Paul had a look at her. He said her ear was fine but that her plague had returned. Well, Red Witch had recovered from the plague before. She had caught it off of dirty warlocks at the haunted school where she used to work. No way Red Witch could deal with the plague all over again! She flew up on the roof of The Magic Shoppe, told the ghosts up there, Tony and Heidi, that she was coming to join them, wished she had never been born, then dove right off, hat first.
Five
Lucky for The Red Witch an old Kewp happened to be passing by just as she jumped. He caught her just before she hit the ground and spirited her away. "Who are you? Am I dead?" "Well, I'm trying to earn my wings, so I'm going to show you what things would be like if you had never been born." "Oh, great. I'm cursed for killing myself. I might have known." First the Kewp stopped off at The Keep. Red Witch heard the screaming right away. "What's that?" "Remember, Red Witch, you were never born. We are going to see how The Purple Witch has gotten on without you. She won't be able to see me, and she will not know you." "Who the hell are you, and what the hell do you want?" Purple Witch wanted to know. There were three screaming children in the kitchen, two babies and a little blonde girl. Red Witch could hear at least another child holler from upstairs. "Mum, I need fifty dollars!" "Purple Witch, you know me, I'm your best friend." "Well, if you're my friend, watch these children for me. My back is killing me." Just then, somebody was at the door. Purple Witch opened it, warily. "What the hell do you want?" "Purple Witch?" "Yes." "I'm Little Pearl, the children's' teacher. They haven't been in school. And, when they are, they are dirty, cuss, and beat-up the other children." "Get the hell out of here before I sic them on you! Go on, get!" "I'll be back." A frog faced slob then entered the kitchen followed by Dainty Bette. "Where the hell have you been, and who the hell is this?" "I've come to collect my things. This is Bette, I'm leaving you for her as she turns me on." Just then, Purple Witch flew at the slob. "Have you seen enough?" Kewp asked The Red Witch. "I sure have. Let's get the hell out of here." And, they did.
Next, The Red Witch found that they were standing in line at a busy bank. There were lots of dolls crying and begging Suzie Blue Witch for a loan. "I don't know what to tell you. It's not like I have any money to give you!" "Remember, Red Witch," Kewp whispered, "you've never been born. There is no magic, nor Magic Shoppe." Still, Red Witch pushed her way through the miserable line. "Suzie Blue!" "Get back in line," Suzie snapped. Then, a distinguished Asian doll came up behind The Blue Witch and said, "Honorable Suzie Blue?" "Yes." "Oh, I buy your bank, and we no longer require your services, so good day!" "Well," said Suzie, "at least I still have Uncle Phil." "Who? The witch doctor? No, I buy his hospital too. We will now be practising acupuncture, there. But, I tell you what: you stop in. We will give you one sticking at half off regular price." At this, the Kewp grabbed The Red Witch by the arm, and they flew away.
Then, they were facing a little snow covered cottage. When they popped in they saw Witchy Poo reclining in bed with a glass of wine and a giant box of bonbons. She was watching soap operas and surrounded by unkempt children. One of them reached for a bonbon, but she slapped his fingers. Then, Little Ron came in the door and stamped the snow off of his boots. He looked thin and tired. "Hello, my love. What's for dinner?" "Where are you taking me?" Witchy Poo wanted to know. There was a little blonde girl sitting at the table, and Little Ron was looking her up and down. "Who is this?" "Well, now, " said Witchy Poo, "this is Damiana, and I've taken her in since your children are too ugly to beat." "Where is Little Ronnie?" Little Ron wondered. "He's up on the roof, sweeping the chimney. Have you finished shovelling the snow?" "Yes." "Did you shovel the sidewalks at The Old House?" "That's not my property. Willie can do that." "Oh, no!" Witchy Poo was really mad, now. "Put those boots back on. I have two children coming from New Zealand. They are not used to snow. If it is good enough for Madonna and Angelina, it is good enough for me! Now, get back to work! Damiana, here, needs new shoes and a new winter coat." The children, or were they trolls, started whimpering. "That one- that child isn't even mine," complained Little Ron. Well, that was quite enough for Witchy Poo, and she flew at him, beating him with a stick. Little Ron covered his head. "I just wanted to watch football," he said. "I outlawed football along with Alex Jones months ago!" Witchy Poo was really screaming, now. "Well," the Kewp asked, "do you still wish you'd never been born?" "Oh!", The Red Witch exclaimed, "I guess, the plague is not so bad. Can you take me back to The Magic Shoppe?" Just then, they heard a crystalline sound, like the tinkling of a bell. "What's that?" "Oh, Red Witch!" Kewp cried and turned around. "Look! I've earned my wings!" And, it was true, as Red Witch could see two tiny blue wings sprouting from the Kewp's back. He swept her up, and off they flew, back to The Magic Shoppe. "I love you, angel!" "I love you too, Red Witch!"
