Three Witches Magic Shoppe: Chapters 6- 10
Six
Captain Gregg, the ghost, took the three witches on a wild boat ride for Mardi Gras. Captain Gregg used to have a ship, but he had traded it for a life amongst the witches. He and Suzie Blue were especially close, for she was the most pirate like of the witches. The witches were having a magical Valentines tea party when The Purple Witch had a thought. "Do you know what we need?" The other two were afraid to ask. "Men." "But, we have Little Ron, Plague Doctor, and Captain Gregg," Suzie Blue said. "And, don't forget Ron Paul stops by," added Red Witch, "and he's a real doctor. Hasn't Little Ron been enough trouble?" "Well," thought Purple Witch, "maybe we could train them." "How so?" Suzie Blue Witch wanted to know. "Like dogs?", she laughed. "Hey," said Red Witch, "when I taught, my students used to hound me to teach them magic." "Just like that dirty dishwasher, Dan, remember him? The one that never brushed his teeth nor cleaned his ears?" Purple Witch was having a ball, now. "Yes," replied Red Witch, "it's like I've always said, boys are totally grose. If we are going to have a magic school and hexcept warlocks, I'm going to be hextremely picky about who gets in. No slobs. I think, I'll have to have known them a long time to trust them. Can't trust boys." "You are too picky," said Purple Witch. "That's why I don't get into trouble like you. Remember the time I put my foot down and said, no way we were going in The Dungeon in New Orleans?" Just then, Little Ron came in with his best friend, Little Tim, at his heels. "She's a real Nazi," he said. "Charge her rent," added Little Tim. Suzie Blue gave them such a face. "If anybody is going to be charged rent, it's you," she said. But, Purple Witch was winking at Little Tim and thinking, cute. "What are you talking about?" Little Ron certainly was nosey. "We are thinking about starting a magic school for warlocks," Purple Witch spilled the beans. "Would you be interested?" "Hey! I didn't say, Little Ron," Red Witch snapped. "He's sanctimonious, and I'm not even sure how to spell that. Besides, we don't have to let him in on anymore of our secrets." "Well, who have you known longer than Little Ron?" Purple Witch wondered. "Yeah, you don't have any friends," Little Ron said. Little Tim laughed until he caught the look on Red Witch's face. "Nah, Red Witch is always good for a good time," he said. "Well," said Suzie Blue, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to think about it, as we cannot begin classes until after our birthdays anyways, as Purple Witch and I are vacationing on Fantasy Island." "Yeah, and keep in mind that it is not just the plague that keeps me from going, either. Mr. Rourke won't have me due to Little Ron." Red Witch was getting huffy. "Have you been banned from Fantasy Island too, Little Ron?" Little Tim was nearly as nosey as his best friend. "You act like I've been banned everywhere, but it's just Fantasy Island and The Pony Hexpress, and let's face it, Red Witch, Tatoo had that coming." "Maybe," mused Red Witch, truth be known, Red Witch stuck up for Little Ron a lot and always had. "Well, anyways, I'll have the time to work on Doll Therapy while my witches are away. I hope to offer courses to my warlocks of choice; and I'll tell you something else, Little Ron, there will be quite a lot." Doll Therapy was one of Red Witch's current projects. "Dead men don't count," Little Ron said. Captain Gregg gave him a vicious sneer. So, the witches celebrated Girls' Day and their birthdays and had quite a time. Then, with Blue Witch and Purple Witch away on vacation, Red Witch had time to work on her books, studies, and choosing the warlocks.
Seven
The Magic Shoppe was quiet for the first time since Blue Witch and Purple Witch had gone to the island. Even the resident ghosts had left. Tony and Heidi, Little Ron's brother and Purple Witch's sister, usually hung out in the rafters. But, Tony was a truck driver and got around, and Heidi had gone to Fantasy Island with her sister. Captain Gregg had bought The Collins Port Inn, next door, from Little Ron, as Little Ron wanted to burn it down for insurance. So, Red Witch was working on her Doll Therapy when she got so bored and lonely that she decided to place an ad in The Star for a new resident ghost. There were several applicants: a creepy bride that flitted around, a sea man, and an old college friend of Red Witch's. Red Witch was not fond of the bride as she never spoke. Red Witch thought she was a great bore and sent her away. The sea man left clumps of wet seaweed in his wake and only knew one song, so she sent him next door to the inn where he might haunt the coffee shop. As far as she was concerned, Ghost Tenyke, her old study buddy, was the keeper, but Little Ron was upset. "I don't see why you should mind," said Red Witch, "after all, you were fraternity brothers." But, Little Ron was jealous and sulked. "Well, if you are going to be this jealous of a ghost, how are you going to take to the live ones when they get here?" As, Red Witch had not only been busy interviewing ghosts, but had been sending out letters to would-be warlocks as well.
Eight
Suzie Blue Witch came back from vacation, but there was no sign of The Purple Witch, nor Heidi. "Where can she be?" The Red Witch was concerned. She knew Purple Witch too well. So, they plastered her sweet picture all over bottles of Fire Water and magic potions, hoping for a lead. "Have you seen this witch?", read the posters hung about the quarter. Volunteers began to show-up looking for her. Purple Witch had a lot of friends. "When did you last see her?" Red Witch asked Blue Witch the hundredth time. "Well, I told you about my fantasy. I was hexhausted." Blue Witch does not wish for her fantasy to be revealed, but it was nothing The Purple Witch hadn't already done. "You should have kept a better eye on her: The Evil Eye! Speaking of 'witch, our first student, Little Matt, will be arriving soon to begin classes. I met him when I was thirteen, through my cousin, so he will be alright." "Not the cousin who was possessed, I hope. The one whose ass you kicked?" "I loved my cousin!" The Red Witch snapped, "And, you should have been watching out for Purple Witch! You know she can't be trusted. Now, I've had to make some pretty shady deals to get Little Matt's sentence transferred to The Magic Shoppe. He needs discipline." Just then, Little Ron came in, tracking mud all over the floor."This is unacceptable, Little Ron! Take your filthy shoes off at the door!" "What's with the Nazi?" He asked Suzie Blue. "She's worried about Purple Witch." "Well, that's her only friend," he laughed. "Look, Mr. Smartypants, my friends will be arriving here, shortly, and I hexpect you to treat them with respect." Just then the door bell rang. Little Ron came back with a package addressed to Red Witch that had been left at the door. "What's this? Who is it from?" He wanted to know. "Well, let's see," said Red Witch, and she opened the box. "Ho-ho!", said Little Ron, "It's obviously from somebody who doesn't know you! You don't answer the phone." It was an old black seventies rotary telephone. There was also a newspaper, a book of etiquette, and a letter from Purple Witch. Red Witch dialed zero. "That's not plugged in," said Little Ron. "Shh... Hello, Purple Witch? Where are you? Rose Cottage? So, you'll be back real soon? I'm glad! We were worried! Anyways, hurry back as the wanna' be warlocks will be arriving soon."
Nine
Many moons passed. Warlock school was a hit. Little Matt was not Red Witch's only friend that she hadn't seen in years that enrolled. There was also Little Mike who had been hexcepted since his birthday was Beltane. The warlocks were staying next door at The Collins Port Inn. But, Little Matt and Mike weren't the only students. Ghost Tenyke was always Red Witch's study buddy. Little Ron would not be outdone and wheedled his way to the top of the class. He was something of an intellectual snob, or, at least, wished to be. "At least he's serious and studious," said Suzie Blue. "That, Little Matt is trouble." "He always has been," snickered Red Witch. "You'll get used to him." "Red Witch only likes losers," said Little Ron. "'Witch hexplains a lot," Red Witch responded.
The witches had decided not to pollute The Magic Shoppe too much with boys, and since they were already staying next door, at The Collins Port Inn, Captain Gregg did not mind if they had classes in the lobby. The fellows did not realize how demanding witchcraft could be. Classes mostly lasted all night. Beginning courses included Herbalogy, Crystal Magic, Dream Magic, Levitation, & Prancercising. In order to prancercise proper, they met in the great hall at Collinwood. Vlad Tepes owned it now, having bought it from Dr. Quentin Collins who'd moved to England with his patient, Maggie Evans, who used to work in the coffee shop at The Collins Port Inn. Prancercising is a combination of Japanese horse back riding, jazz dance, archery, and yoga. Red Witch insisted it rewarded with prancersion: strength, agility, and stamina. Little Ron did his best, Little Matt was a natural, but Mr. Littletim said, "No, this is lame." Ghost Tenyke agreed. "No way!" Little Ron growled. "Tenyke pulled this in the fraternity! He fails!" Suzie Blue Witch was nodding her head. "Even I prancercised," she said. "Look!", directed Little Matt towards the entryway, "He's gone! Just disappeared!" "Typical.", Little Ron huffed in disgust. "Lame." Little Matt agreed. Just then, Mrs. Johnson, the housekeeper, appeared with The Star, Collins Port Quarter's daily news. "And, what's this?" She was asking Little Matt who tried to appear innocent. She was poking at the paper, now, and shaking it at him. "Random?" I'm telling you, what, mister, we'll have none of that, here. You can just park yourself on the porch until you learn how to behave!" "Cool!" Little Matt seemed pleased, but he liked to sleep on the porch, naked, hexspecially.
Ten
Little Matt was on the porch of The Collins Port Inn studying his magic books when he thought he heard a sobbing coming from under the porch. Contrary to what you might have heard, Matt is quite chivalrous and looked around. "Hello?" It was dark beneath the porch, and he couldn't make out much. He thought he was looking at a big, fuzzy, purple pumpkin. It smelled rotten. "Hello?" "Oh! Get the fuck out of here!" "Wha...? Who is there?" Just then, Red Witch appeared with a wicker picnic basket that she put down and opened. "I see you've found Purple Pumpkin Pie. Did she get nasty with you? " "Shut the fuck up!" Yes, see, she can't help but cuss. She's rotten. It's only Purple Witch. She returned too late from her fantasy and turned into a pumpkin. I brought you some coffee and books." She spread out a cover across the ground before sitting down and divulging the contents of her magic basket, as she did, little sparks and glints shimmered forth: two thermoses of coffee, paper pouches with cookies, and books. Then, Bette looked out at them from the coffee shop window. "Who is that?" Little Matt seemed enthralled. "Never mind her, Little Matt, are you listening?" "Why? What's wrong with her?" "She's an one-hundred-and-forty-year-old vampire, and if you wish to discover yourself like Purple Witch, here, cursed, go on, and mess with Bette. She was already on her way back across the lane when Purple Pumpkin Pie called, "Thanks for the fucking books!"
Dainty Bette was heading Matt's way, her red riding hood bleeding out behind her. "Who are you?" She wanted to know. "Why are you fanging out on the porch?" Dainty Bette was not like the other dolls. She was an antique. Little Matt thought she was fangtastic. He tried for cool. "I'm sorta' banished, here", he laughed. "I'm Matt. Mrs. Johnson saw my ad in the paper and took it all personal." "Everybody in Collins Port Quarter, hexcept for my master, is a busy body." "Who is your master?" "See?" "What?" Purple Pumpkin was laughing. "Is it true, you are a vampire?" "Come with me." "Where? Will you turn me?" "Turn you into, what?" "You know." He lowered his voice. "A vampire." "Come with me." Then she whispered in his ear, "I'm the only doll whose clothes aren't sewn on."
