I can't recall a merrier May. It's not just all of my new friends at Crystal Cave. This morning Ron woke me from a dream I have yet to record. I wasn't happy. He said that he was taking me to Indian Echo Caverns. He's been telling me that we've been there all along, but I knew better. Boys have shitty memories. Most girls are far superior. First, I fell in love with Ernie, the beautiful white turkey. I have never been to this magnificent cave! It's huge! Before the tour I had gotten a lovely crystal and history book from the gift shop. Lucky our fab guide, Ethan, told us about the hermit's book found in the cave; I scored that too. Thanks to Jim at Crystal Cave and The National Cave Association, Ron and I both got in for free. I get two free adults, and two kids passes a pop, so I can now get my brother in for free too. Then we stopped at Challenge Family Fun Center down the road. We only stopped for miniature golf and snacks. We were not prepared for the nostalgic eighties arcade that hosts birthdays. It was like a time machine with Aunt Janet and Glennie. Ron and I were watching a woman trying to score a prize from one of those jaws, crane games. Ron was saying that they were fixed and always dropped the prize. I was thinking that I wanted The Man in the Moon who reminded me of BOWIE. Ron bought ten dollars' worth of tokens that we had loads of fun with. Can you believe I captured the moon? I never win with games like this. We also scored lots of fun stuff at cash-out: wind-up jumpy teeth since Ron dropped twelve grand on my root canals last year, a purple paratrooper like Jimi Hendrix, a mermaid, a gnome, and soft peppermint candies. I had a slice of pizza, and Ron had a cheeseburger and fries. I picked up some flyers from The Fulton Theater near the steamboat motel, fifties diner, and Doll Outlet where I want to take my cousin and Susie Blue. It looks off-the-hook with The Wizard of Oz and Beauty and the Beast, so we'll have to plan their trip around a show. I'm glad that I'm off again tomorrow. Arthur is getting a Lyme's Disease vaccination. Shiner had that three times. I need a day to recover from so much fun. Did I mention my hole in one? That's rare for me.
Ernie, My New Love
