New eBay Bundle Discounts

 Now you can bundle and save up to 20% in my eBay shop on handmade, one-of-a-kind art dolls, watercolors, Dark Shadows, paper dolls, my collection, and more. 

Happy Fall! 🍂

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Ghost Stories Available at Barnes & Noble

Hardcover New Release

Ghost Stories has a couple new chapters: Gettysburg & Crystal Cave. 

 

Dana's Dolls Available at Barnes & Noble

Hardcover New Release

 

Minie' Ball Available at Barnes & Noble

Hardback at Barnes & Noble

 

Dreams 5/26

 

5/26

  Happy Birthday in Heaven, Daddy! What an amazing night to be a dreamer! I think that the first dream took place in Germany, but I’m not certain, it was Dream Land, after all. It starred two young white men with dark curls, one much taller than the other. The taller one traded a gun for a fishing rod; he had a stash of handguns. I touched one of their heads and told them that I loved them. Then, they both were kidnapped for science. I was working with a young woman trying to find them. I found a table of toddlers who had been vaccinated. They all had one horribly mutilated leg. I could not find the young men though. 

  The second dream was awesome, probably the best. I’m pretty sure that it took place in Austria during the late nineteenth century. It starred a ginger vampiress wearing a teal silk gown. She was gorgeous. I put a large piece of tissue paper into a white porcelain bathtub full of hot water. It dissolved and fizzed. The vampiress became round and soft like a ball with a head. She was still dressed and talking, but her gown had changed colors, gold and rust. There was a tall, slender, fancy, white plastic doll house, taller than me, empty, and loaded with glass, so transparent. I was running through a shop with a young blonde woman and wanted to go back and fetch a wooden doll pen topped with a doll wearing a gray woolen coat and cap. Back in the vampire’s palace we found some dead boys. There was another room full of antique stuffed animals, all kinds. There was another wooden puzzle pen of the vampiress, complete with the ginger curls and turquoise gown. I pulled it apart. 

  The third dream was out of this world and took place at a swanky establishment where Ron and I were attending a late doll show and auction. After the show, before the auction started, I was trying to get my green trimmed, knee length, houndstooth coat off of an old redheaded woman who was wearing it. I wanted it back because it had some cotton balls stuffed in the pockets. When I got it, I realized that the cotton balls were pink. The woman opened her carpet bag and revealed a bag full of them, all colors, plus a couple of knitting needles. They were not cotton balls, but wool. I told her, never mind, that she could keep the coat. Now, there was a young man with dark hair wearing a suit, who I conned the old women into presenting the auction. He wasn’t happy about it, and I did not care. I knew that he liked me and set him up. I told him that I could not help it, that I had been up all night. I was walking out into the night going for the parking lot, looking for Ron. A young white man in a red jacket was shooting at me with a pistol and nearly hit me. Why I confronted him, who knows. I had a hold of him, and he was talking about my bra, how he could feel the strap. I joked that it was no big deal. He confessed that he liked me and didn’t really know why he wanted to shoot me. I was now back inside the building with Ron, and there was a huge flea market set up. A man had four miniature poodles with poodle cuts on leashes. I was petting a white and gray one when I noticed a cardboard sign with red lettering that said that Charles Schwab was for sale. I told the man about Arthur, and he asked me if he was brown. I told him that he was white and brown. He asked if he was brindle, and I answered, no. Then I walked down to a table on the far right where Paulina was sitting with another woman, selling antique trinkets. I was telling her about Rachel coming from a family of ten, and how her mother just had another baby.

Dana's Dreams coming soon to Barnes & Noble, an omnibus of 600+ pages

Mehitable Visits Crystal Cave

   Mehitable had a wonderful time at Crystal Cave. She got to meet Devon who plays bass. Mehitable was made by a violin maker. Devon told me that Meadowood Music is a fabulous place. We can have a complete quartet once we find a violinist and violist. I'm sure they'll come along. I'm going to have to make a little book full of all of Mehitable's exploits. Right now I'm working on fixing up The Three Witches Magic Shoppe Adventures in Doll Land for Barnes & Noble. 

The Art of Dana Lee Available at Barnes & Noble

Get The Art of Dana Lee in Hardback

 

Hot Blood Available at Barnes & Noble

         Get Hot Blood in Hardcover

 

DOC (Holliday) Available at Barnes & Noble

 Get DOC in hardcover

Crystal Cave

  I was in such a sad state when I left for work this morning. The gathering gloom was gone by the time that I reached the inn. I had to cover miniature golf and had a wonderful time with the kids, reading Poldark, and chatting with Mike about the ghosts. I was finally able to snap some pictures of my favorite spots too. The mini golf shed smells like camp. 

 

Not the Only Game in Town

 

  Since Amazon's asshole intelligence is dumb enough to take on the real thing I've found lots of alternatives for self-publishing. Check-it-out:

How to Publish a Book For Free: The 7 Best Sites

Planet SCAM

 

  Verifying your identity on Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing is impossible. I will self-publish elsewhere and hex them like Hershey and Mattel with babies in the wolves' den and fentanyl Barbies. 😠 I'm irate. They might bugger themselves with their asshole intelligence for all I care. I'm the Real deal. 🤮

From The Apple Orchard

 

One

  My father, Samuel Townsend, moved to Oyster Bay in 1750 along with my mother, Sarah, and my older brothers, Solomon and Sam. Pappy was in his forties, and Mummy in her late twenties. He hadn’t only robbed the cradle, but he’d married an Episcopalian to boot. Pappy’s family were Quakers and came from England in the middle of the fifteenth-century. You might wonder how I know. John Townsend is sleeping in the family plot. They met at Mott’s meeting house that had been built for corn and pork, a well known fact amongst the Friends, as they called themselves. The house became too small being a one up two down, and within a couple of years Pappy had his slaves build a four room addition to accommodate my brother Billy, sister Audrey, and myself, Robert Townsend, born November 26, 1753, under the sign of Scorpio. This is my tale. 

  My first memory was of the apple orchard in spring; there were a hundred trees, planted from red apples, by John Townsend, himself. He didn’t live long after arriving here, so they were his legacy, and the beginning of our dynasty providing cider, honey, and apples which we traded. That was the beginning. Pappy inherited a ship, Glasgow, from my grandfather, a ship captain, who brought our sweet goods to Scotland.

  Pappy was industrious. He had a family of slaves that he treated as well as his own children. Mammy and Papa lived upstairs. We played with their many children, Hezekiah, Jeremiah, Henry, Francis, and Matt as if they were brothers. Of course this put Pappy off amongst the Friends who condemned slavery. Pappy was his own man. He thought for himself and raised us to do the same. He said, “Watch for your chances to do good.” He was an amazing man. 

  Mammy was midwife, nanny, and wet nurse. Mummy had lost a couple babies but had eight more to make up for it. We heeded Mammy as well as we did Pappy. “Git out of dat mud before I take a switch to you!” She was quite the character, but very loving and treated us as well as her own children. Both she and Papa were born in Oyster Bay, like Pappy who grew up with them. It was their home. The Friends did not get it and never would. We were a family. Pappy taught us not to worry what other people thought of us. 

  “Don’t concern yourself with things out of your control,” he said. “You cannot change what they think anymore than you can order a honeybee about. Focus on what is in your power; otherwise, forget about it.” He was very wise. 

  He captained his ship; Solomon and Sam were his apprentices while Hezekiah and Jeremiah were stewards, responsible for keeping everything ship shape, scrubbing, mopping, and polishing. Billy, Henry, and I came along, learning, while playing pirates and looking for mermaids. We had a wonderful time. 

  Meanwhile Mummy and little Audrey were not idle back at Raynham Hall which was now known as a stately mansion in Oyster Bay. Mammy could read and they taught Audrey to do the same, reading from The Bible, Shakespeare, Fielding, Pope, and Swedenborg. Audrey could spin by the time that she could walk. They helped Mammy with the baking and the laundry. It was a full house, full of laughter and love. There were a lot of us, and we kept coming. 

  David was born around Easter when I was six, and Sally came along a year after. By the time Phebe followed, three years later, Audrey was helping like a little mother. Papa carved little dolls for them, the Apple Darling family, from fallen branches, broken in storms. Audrey’s were Mr. Johnny Apple Darling and his wife, June. Sally treasured little Blossom, and Phebe kept May. They sewed and embroidered entire wardrobes for them from scraps. Those dolls were better dressed than we were. Quakers dress drably, gray and brown, but Pappy saw to it that our clothes were well made of wool, and even Papa had fancy gold buckles on his black leather shoes. He was proud of those buckles. 

  We were not proud. We all worked, but we played too, Pappy insisted upon it. We swung from the apple trees, built a treehouse, Solomon, Sam, Hezekiah, and Jeremiah helped with the sawing, and had our own peaceful kingdom amongst the apple trees along with the Little People, birds, squirrels, possums, and bees.

Easter in Gettysburg

 

Gettysburg Spring

Easter Sale

 15% off with coupon code: EASTER2026

Carmilla

The Collins Port Inn

 

Dreams 3/6

3/6

  Somehow my first dream snippet was lost. The second took place by a pond in spring. A young, naked, Barbara Eden plucked some black downy feathers and tossed them to the wind. She reappeared, lying down on her back in the moss. Black feathers and down filled in all around her until she became a great black water bird like a swan. I got very little sleep thanks to Arthur and Frankie with his wand. He locked himself in the cellar dragging it behind him. 

Dana's Dreams

Dana's Dreams Two

Revenge of the Dream Hog

Arm & Hammer Kitty Krew

  Sir Frankie Crisp and I have just joined the Arm & Hammer Kitty Krew. I discovered it on his Double Duty kitty litter box. I wanted to score a charm bracelet, but they are out. I get great deals at the little market, Grocery Outlet Bargain Market, but it's often not brand new stuff. The Halloween tortilla chips I scored for ninety-seven cents are killer, so I'll take it. Arthur and I get to go to parties at PetSmart and other fun stuff. I just discovered that I can take him to the Historic Smithton Inn in Ephrata, next on my list. There's a dog park in Ephrata, and he travels so well, a proper gent. I'm going to a tropical fish event on Saturday at PetSmart. It's nice that I have something just for Frankie. We got high dollar natural litter the day we picked him up, Shiner's burial. It was terrible stuff, really pissy. We bought Tidy Cat once because it was cheap. It's nearly as bad. I love Double Duty clumping litter. It is easy clean-up. I clean Frankie's box every day. Someday he'll get a litter robot, but right now Countess Po' Ass can use some samples and freebies. I hope I'm getting more at PetSmart this weekend. Three aquariums can get expensive. I hope to get some Indian pea puffer fish at Petco some time when I'm down a Betta. I realize PetSmart is trying to compete, but Petco's warranties are twice as long, and their freaky fab staff is twice as nice. It won't be easy. They do take better care of their fish though. Sometimes I think about working at Petco. I'm pretty busy though. I'm making a Saint Patrick's Day doll from my Victorian Ornaments book that I got at The Mad Hatter for three dollars. I'm down to three projects in that book out of eleven, and I just got it this past fall. It's a lot of fun. I finished Hot Blood and want to get my rat pack done for the return of The Collins Port Inn. I have to begin The Apple Orchard, an epic poem about Robert Townsend, George Washington's Revolutionary War spy in New York. I hope that leads to another musical satire even before IKE. Ron and my brother don't consider art work. 😹

Kitty Krew

Hot Blood 

The Collins Port Inn

  Oh, my ghoul, I haven't had internet all week, it's comcastic! The instruction manual must've been in English! Wart speed my lily white ass! In the meantime, my wrath has nearly completed the rat pack. I'm wrapping up Filthy Phil right now. Stay tuned... TTYL! 🍀

Hot Blood

  
 Hot Blood is a true crime novella set in fourteenth century England. Available as an eBook, soon to be released in all formats, you can read it on Amazon now. 

Hot Blood